Mr. Smith Goes To Washington To Charm The Panties Off Star-Struck Politicans
Fearing that indifferent, all-powerful lawmakers might not be hearing the voice of the obscure, California-based movie-fabricating industry whose interests they tirelessly represent on Capitol Hill, today the Motion Picture Association of America arranged for some of its most eloquent representatives to finally gain an audience in Washington with its "The Business of Show Business" symposium. But knowing that its best chances at swaying politicians probably lay in appealing to their basest star-fucking instincts, decided to sprinkle in some Big Willy Style for insurance:
Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) said that many of her colleagues didn't grasp Hollywood's economic clout, and that their views of the industry often were shaped by concerns about excessive sex and violence in movies.
"We want the industry to do well, but we want it to be a net positive addition to the values of Americans," she said. "It must understand this, I think, and respond to it in a positive sense, instead of saying, 'Well, this is our business; we're going to do what we want.' " [...]
Despite the emphasis on economics, it's hard for Hollywood to do anything — even try to dispel its flashy image — without at least some star wattage. And today's invitation-only event will stand out as a Washington policy conference with red-carpet flair.
Smith, nominated for a best actor Academy Award for "The Pursuit of Happyness," will headline the opening breakfast at the Smithsonian's stately new downtown art museum. Filmmaker Michael Apted, president of the Directors Guild of America, will keynote the luncheon at the swank Hotel Monaco.
"This is a chance for us to come to Washington and for them to actually see us as walking, talking, breathing human beings," Apted said. "You'll get a sense that making movies is a very unusual and singular industry.... It's not like making cars or growing wheat."
The star-exploiting ploy paid immediate dividends; while Feinstein initially paid lip service to holding Hollywood to some sort of vague values standard in exchange for the governmental protection of its interests, once Smith took the podium and called forth a plump man-tear from the corner of a quivering eye during the thrilling crescendo of his speech on the looming threat of piracy, the senator immediately halted the proceedings, promising to do whatever she could to help their unusual and singular industry, even if it meant diverting resources from every last wretched wheat-grower and grease-stained car-maker in America.
