Blue States Lose: Fag Libs
User-generated content: It's all the rage these days. But how best to harness the energy of our talented team of readers when it comes to mocking the hipsters who show up on The Cobrasnake and Last Night's Party? After the jump, Alex Blagg figures it all out, with a little help from YOU.
Seeing as how the pickings were pretty slim this week (no new pictures from the DipShits), and how I'm starting to get bored of coming up with creative ways to tell you these people look like retards, I thought it might be interesting to mix things up a bit and put my mighty pen into the hands of you, dear readers. So I've concocted this little variation on the popular party game "Mad Libs", and written the framework for this week's captions, leaving key portions blank so that you might have fun filling them in for me. Feel free to post your work in the comments.
10.The Cobrasnake. Eat More Cactus photo #2298: This was __________ (number) seconds before Rollie Fingers and his pal ____________ (name for the pal) got straight up jacked for looking like such _____________ (what you think they look like).
9.The Cobrasnake. Eat More Cactus photo #2041: I'm pretty sure that a basement-dwelling sci-fi dork in a space-suit swilling Mexican beer is the ____________ (adjective-est) thing to happen to hipster parties since ___________ (other thing that happened to hipster parties).
8. The Cobrasnake. Eat More Cactus photo #2209: Welp, looks like somebody's _________ (noun describing this guy's relationship to someone) got wasted, showed up at the bar, and started _________ (verb) again.
7. Last Night's Party. Hassan photo #4548: Having the Last Night's Party _________ (variation on "douche") as your wedding photographer puts your marriage somewhere between ___________ (incredibly unlikely event) and _____________ (slightly less unlikely event) on the scale of Things That Will Probably Work Out.
6. Last Night's Party. Ruffians photo #3747: _________ (expletive) yeah! This _________ (noun) wants to make sure you KNOW he reads Pitchfork every day, yet is still _________ (adjective) enough to __________ (synonym for "wear") an arm-full of friendship bracelets and and totally __________ (adjective) wristbands.
5. The Cobrasnake. Rebate Baby photo #5782: This poor hiptard cowboy is sitting alone in a corner, sending a text message that just says ______________ (message that he is probably not sending, but is contextually humorous).
4. The Cobrasnake. Eat More Cactus photo #2366: Things are really not looking good for this girl. How about an optimism test! Later, this dude is going to _______ (verb) her.
3. The Cobrasnake. Rebate Baby photo #5859: He's part elf, part African tribesman, part skate punk, part Annie Lennox and part __________ (something else he vaguely resembles). I think we shall call him ___________ (knock yourselves out).
2. The Cobrasnake. Backyard Moonbounce photo #5399: Wow, its like __________ (person, place or thing) fucked _________ (person, place or thing) and 9 months later, out came a ____________ (person, place or thing).
1. The Cobrasnake. American Soda Bar photo #1982: Guys, he's got the tagline from "American Beauty" tattooed on his arm! I think he might be trying to tell us something! Yes, let us indeed "look closer". I see he's wearing a ___________ (adjective) T-shirt, ___________ (adjective) shorts, some _______________ (adjective) accessories, and has a box of cigarettes in his hand. Of course, this could only mean _____________ (what it means).
NSFW BONUS (because I had to). Last Night's Party. Fashion Leftovers photo #2628: I want to ________ (verb) this, the __________ (adjective) cake I've ever seen.
