Not long ago, both the NY Times and the LA Times opened the golden gates of their movie review sections to You, the person of the year. Oooh, it's Web 1.34! Well, Your reviews are in—and You totally suck! You suck even worse than Stephen Holden!

Letters from Iwo Jima, Los Angeles Times

A disappointing public relations attempt to suggest a "kind and gentle" Imperial Japanese Army of WW 2 (confusing the IJA as the Japanese people). The IJA set a tone of barbarism and, yes, institutionalized racism in China even prior to America's involvment. This film tries to rewrite history in a self-serving manner.

Inland Empire, New York Times

....ideas of time and space are spurious at best so why try to pin them down, why try to impute logic onto a system that is so elusive that even our "finest" minds come up with quantum fluctuations that are subject probabilities and absurd contradictions ....... logic and linearity giving way to godel, escher & bach and finally Lynch ..... may not that be precisely the action that screwed us to begin with? The "horror" is the audacity of claiming yes i understand....

Although there are some total bright spots:

Music & Lyrics, New York Times

I have to say the opening was quite amusing and brought back memories of my Wham love. But after that the movie grinds to a awful crescendo of noise, bad casting choices, AWFUL music and my thoughts of WHY was this made (oh wait the money). Can someone direct Drew to a speech therapist??? I had one as a child and it really lessened my speech impediment.