The New York Observer is deep inside the freakshow of their second tabloid close—they'll put out 64 pages of somethin' tomorrow!— but there's one office that's not humming with activity. Mary Dixie Carter—the newspaper's publishing director, editor of their website's unholy Bridal Blog, and also the clear winner of 2003's New York Times wedding announcements competition—has packed up her belongings. The daughter of Arthur Carter, the paper's former owner-publisher, she is off to be a writer for The Economist. We have one thought. If our mom were on Desperate Housewives and our dad was Sandy Weill's original business partner and a pioneer of the leveraged buy-out, we sure as fuck wouldn't be working anywhere. We'd be sitting on our asses on a yacht, asking the poolboy for another Singapore Sling.