Looking At The Look Book: Sam Parker's Expensive Tastes
Sam Parker is an "art student," which, as everyone knows, is the only thing worse than an "artist." He has an internship at a store! He can't go into Jeffrey's without buying something! He loves Thom Browne! Basically he is just like you and me, except that we are not entitled twits who spend a lot of money to look like "young Bob Dylan" meets "even Jewier." After the jump, Intern Alexis lets Emily Epstein, Annie Karni and Alec Cumming go to town on him.
But first, this note from your editors!
Sorry. On with the show!
Emily Epstein, comedian and writer
What's under that trench coat?
A tie and a poncho sewn by his mother, which is made out of Sam's gargantuan self esteem.
Says Sam, "My advice is, dress to undress, if you know what I mean."
No, I don't know what you mean! Explain!
You simply feel compelled to undress him and then put Sam in some clothes that don't make him look like Bob Dylan's creepy streaking nephew. Then again, maybe he just means that you should wear lots of
zippers (especially on your gloves) and buttons that make undressing easy, entertaining, and much like a striptease for everyone involved.
What does Sam's art look like?
I think it's about the process for Sam. He probably lies in bed for 20 minutes and thinks about the colors he will use before he creates his array of technicolor dreamcoats. His two latest pieces, tentatively
titled, "The Color of Money" and "Only My Mother Understands Me" should be finished in the spring.
Annie Karni, straphangstress
What's under that trench coat?
A medium amount of back hair, a "Hard Rock Caf , Miami" T-shirt, and like eight pounds of jarlsberg cheese from Whole Foods.
Says, Sam, "My advice is, dress to undress, if you know what I
mean." No, I don't know what you mean! Explain!
Well, Intern Alexis, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Sam doesn't know what he means either. We're looking at a man here who admits, "I lay in bed and thinks about my colors." When his girlfriend rips open that trench coat, Sam gets excited thinking about buttoning himself back up. Sam undresses to dress is the cold, hard truth.
What does Sam's art look like?
Found objects. Skulls.
What's under that trench coat?
Just his birthday suit. This is what he means by white on top, black on bottom, gray in the middle.
I>Says, Sam, "My advice is, dress to undress, if you know what I mean." No, I don't know what you mean! Explain!
That was the joke. It was funny because he has a good sense of humor.
What does Sam's art look like?
I could think up some ridiculous scenario involving a drafty performance-art squat in Crown Heights, a lot of bad hair, and a Colombian colon-dose of coke, but it think it's safe to say "art student," in this case, means "Mommy buys me stuff."
