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While Courteney Cox has previously warned hot-lesbian-action-obsessed gawkers (does the L Word not satisfy all their masturbation needs?) with no genuine interest in her series that her much-anticipated kiss with longtime Friend Jennifer Aniston will not be particularly hot, lesbian, or action-packed, we nonetheless have clung to the irrational hope that the prudish Cox was intentionally misrepresenting the moment, and that a dedicated Aniston managed to power a tongue through her co-star's tight-lipped defenses in the name of artistic truth. After today's NY Times review of the Dirt season finale, we think we're finally able to let this one go:

"Is it 'Bring a Jackal to Work Day'? " Lucy [Cox] says when she sees Tina Harrod (Ms. Aniston), her longtime frenemy and editor of a rival gossip magazine in her office.

Tina fights fire with fake warmth, calling Lucy "sweetie" and mixing solicitude with salacious innuendo. (They kiss on the lips, but briskly.) The finale, which ties up loose ends with over-the-top drama, should be a blast. Yet like Ms. Cox, Ms. Aniston seems to be sleepwalking through her part, not so much enjoying it as enduring it.

We suppose that those truly obsessed with the idea of a proper Monica-on-Rachel hook-up can pray that Dirt gets picked up for another season and Aniston becomes a recurring character; maybe with the pressure of a possible cancellation off, the actresses will allow themselves to relax enough to finally give their dedicated fans the spit-swapping, nonpenetrative televised encounter they've desperately craved since those deliciously tense moments back in their Friends kitchen.