Breaking! Hero Clooney Embarks On Million-Dollar Quest To Find The Real Leaker!
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It's not quite the CLOONEY PLACES MILLION DOLLAR BOUNTY ON HEAD OF REAL RUSSELL VIDEO LEAK we were hoping for, but still, not bad.
[Also: We feel like such dirty, dirty little whores now that George and his trusty flack are running around sticking his filthy denial in every quivering media-hole they can find. We thought we were special! You know what? Fuck Darfur!]