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Having already ruined drug abuse and eating disorders for "regular" women by constantly publicizing their more glamorous coke habits and protruding ribs in the pages of the supermarket tabloids, celebrities have now initiated a War on Motherhood, parading their perfectly sculpted baby bumps or racially balanced families of luxury-level orphans in front of People and Us Weekly's cameras in an attempt to establish unrealistic expectations for civilian moms. Reports ABC News on the troubling new trend:

In this celebrity-driven culture — where Britney Spears is chided for riding around town with her infant in her lap and Angelina Jolie bounces back to her slender figure sans "bump" just weeks after childbirth — there's plenty of judgment thrown at mothers, the authors [of forthcoming childbirth guide From the Hips] say.

"We live in this really highly body-conscious culture, and women feel the pressure to be physically perfect," said Odes, an artist and former indie rocker who now has two young children. "In the past, women were expected to hide their bodies, but [what] comes along with the freedom to be beautiful is the pressure to be beautiful." [...]

"All these celebrities are hanging out with cute babies," [co-author Ceridwen Morris] said. "It's a fantasy and doesn't address the real parenting issues. The baby is an accessory," Morris said.

The always socially conscious Jolie will soon address her role in ruining motherhood for less privileged women by designing an affordable—but still stylish—line of orphans for Target, which will allow even the most budget-conscious of parents to repair their damaged self-images by properly accessorizing themselves with a brood of refugees drawn from an impressive array of Third World countries.