Phil Oh and Nikola Tamindzic went to observe Village Voice nightlife columnist Tricia Romano's fifth anniversary party last night. Apparently when you write a column for five years in this town, you get a party in Simon Hammerstein's Box! Mazel tov, Tricia.

Continuing on the streak of Team Party Outings to anniversaries, we got all dressed up to celebrate five years of "Fly Life"—that's Tricia Romano's Village Voice column chronicling downtown nightlife. I was sort of expecting a rave in a dank techno-pit like Subtonic, but clubland is dead, so we got stuck at The Box instead, for a night of burlesque accompanied by predictable box-as-in-vagina jokes. But being in classy joints makes one a bit uncomfortable, which means one imbibes 17-dollar glasses of wine. Ugh, no open bar? Thanks a lot, Tricia.

Kicking off the night were The Pierces, a lovely pair of non-burlesque sisters from Alabama, mostly notable from the blonde one's engagement to a Stroke—Albert Hammond, apparently, who made an appearance to support his ex-fiancee. Also, they sing.

Channeling the spirit of the dearly departed Fez, a "Fly Life" favorite, master of ceremonies Murray Hill took the stage to introduce the performers and to out Tricia to her parents. As if they wouldn't have figured something was up after the night's entertainment of boobs, stripteases, and enema bags.

First-up was a topless Julie Atlas Muz swinging around, then squeezing herself into a giant balloon/body-condom. Next was Mike Albo impersonating Britney Spears. Then a Pontani girl striptease, and the Wau Wau sisters capped things off with a Catholic schoolgirl-on-schoolgirl box-eating extravaganza. Just like Christmas.