Looking at the Look Book: Jenn Lombardo Is Pregs
Jenn Lombardo loves being up the stick because "for some reason people look at you with so much respect and admiration. They're really kind to you, so you have a bit of a glow. You feel special, and you are special." Uh, whatever, twentieth pregnant lady I've seen today. After the jump, Intern Alexis rallies Matt Kirsch, Ellie Kempner, and Raquel DApice to talk baby names.
When she was Look-Book-ed, Jenn was due in a week. What did Jenn end up naming her child?
At the eleventh hour, they switched from Slippy to George then back to Slippie (but this time with an 'ie) but in the end they both agreed on Robitussin Lombardo (Rob for short) and yeah, obviously they got a lot of flack about it (I'm pretty sure the Post headline was: "Cough Syrup Baby Stuns In-laws") but honestly I don't know what people are freaking out about, nine out of ten doctors recommend Robitussin, it'll not only get rid of your cough but also that annoying congested feeling you sometimes get. Gosh, people can be so jealous.
Why no photo of Jenn 's feet, Jake?
Jake: OK to be perfectly honest I signed a waiver at the shoot preventing me from saying anything negative about Ms. Lombardo's feet, but, heck, I can talk freely about her "naked slippers" (wink wink) and let's just say her "naked slippers" (wink wink) were completely overrun with bacteria.
This heel-adaptation that Jenn claims has also been claimed by Mariah Carey. Would Mariah and Jenne hit it off?
Oh they've met before! Jenn was an assistant counselor at Camp Mariah (an arts camp for underprivileged youths) during the summer of 1992, and I heard she got fired by Mariah herself after performing Whitney's Houston's "Queen of the Night" at the staff talent show. As she yanked Jenn off the wooden stage, Mariah allegedly whispered, "Not in my house."
Ellie Kemper, Actress/Comedienne/Writress/Female
When she was Look-Book-ed, Jenn was due in a week. What did Jenn end up naming her child?
Penne. Right? Last time I checked in, I believe Jenn was going with Penne.
Why no photo of Jenn 's feet, Jake?
1) It is sort of the Muppet Babies "Nanny" effect, except with Jenn 's feet instead of her face. Just as the Babies saw Nanny from a toddler's point of view, so we see Jenn from an adult's point of view. We are all adults here, after all. But might I dare say that Jenn is the only Lad .
2) Is it not enough that Jenn was forced to wear flats today? Must we subject her to further humiliation by including a photo of them? The woman has devised a revolutionary new way of walking that allows her to move in high heels without falling down, has watched the front pads of her feet grow a full three inches thicker to cushion the blow of each high-heeled step, and all we can think of to do is to make fun of her on the one day she is caught in shoes that do not include heels? Thank you for demonstrating a touch of class, Jake.
3) With the alarmingly large polka-dotted fetus emerging from Jenn 's vintage rain slicker, we have other things to worry about than feet.
This heel-adaptation that Jenn claims has also been claimed by Mariah Carey. Would Mariah and Jenne hit it off?
Mariah and Jenn ? Not so much. Mariah and Jenn 's fianc ? Perhaps. The guy seems to have a thing for boobs.
Maybe if we pointed out to Jenn that Mariah was the brains behind Glitter. I think they both really like that movie.
Raquel DApice, distracted waitress, comedian
When she was Look-Book-ed, Jenn was due in a week. What did Jenn end up naming her child?
"Khaki," because it's a really basic name that goes with everything, but that she can dress up with cute middle names from H&M or Forever 21.
Why no photo of Jenn 's feet, Jake?
After being doused with Dasani by a staff member, Jenn 's feet (remniscent of the 1984 Movie "Splash" starring Daryl Hannah) merged into a photographically distracting tailfin. Unable to stand for the photoshoot, she was actually propped upright by a series of reduced-scale flying buttresses and an unnamed three year-old.
This heel-adaptation that Jenn claims has also been claimed by Mariah Carey. Would Mariah and Jenne hit it off?
How could they not? Under Mariah's tutelage, Jenn could more effectively use the front-pad stepping technique to minimize distracting heel-noise while walking. Her stealth will come in handy when shoplifting gargantuan Easter eggs, such as the one displayed under her trendy but timeless raincoat.
Jenn Lombardo, Promotional-Events Executive [NYM]