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The jilted celebrity weeklies' coordinated attacks on exclusive People collaborator Angelina Jolie continue in this week's Life & Style, with the second-tier glossy accusing the once-beatified orphan collector of being unable to love the overprivileged, tragically bland blob whose unparalleled genetic advantages may have robbed it of a personality compelling enough to hold Jolie's fickle attention, especially when she's constantly distracted by her hand-picked trio of fascinating refugees. If this anti-Jolie offensive drags on in the coming weeks, the actress may be forced to turn on Pitt, who's lately been cast as the put-upon partner of a selfish adoption addict in search of her next toddler-fix by her sensationalist nemeses, turning to her reliable public relations instrument in a shocking, retaliatory People exposé claiming "sources very close to the family" who reveal that Pitt is a "narcissist only able to love his biological baby" and who frequently refers to his adoptive family as "the fake kids."