Management Gawker Style
Because it's allegedly "Administrative Professionals' Day," the folks at MediaBistro have put together a package of "seven things the kid getting your coffee can teach you." While we don't necessarily consider ourselves assistants, we are all subservient to our Managing Editor Choire Sicha, so we read the piece with some interest as to how it reflected his management style. We've pulled out the seven tips and, via the miracle of preserved IM transcripts, taken the measure of the manager. Results follow.
Recognize smaller accomplishments
"An occasional "great job!" email from someone at the top does wonders for anyone who feels like their work doesn't get appreciated."
RHYMES WITH STORY signed on at 8:01:17 AM.
BALK BTW: So I scheduled Media Bubble for 8:30.
RHYMES WITH STORY: What do you want, a fucking medal? I want to see three more posts by nine or I'm replacing you with one of the interns.
BALK BTW: Right away, sir!
RHYMES WITH STORY: Also, you need to run up here and bring me cigarettes.
BALK BTW: On it.
Notice the tone and mood around the company
"Some managers don't get to interact with people on every level of their company. That's where your assistant comes in — he can be your eyes and ears around the office."
MEMILY: I'm going to kill Balk.
RHYMES WITH STORY went idle at 11:50:58 PM.
RHYMES WITH STORY returned at 12:54:55 PM.
RHYMES WITH STORY: Sorry, was napping. What now?
MEMILY: Balk and I are at each others throats and I think I'm going to hit him.
RHYMES WITH STORY: Mmmmm. Weren't you working on an item about Britney's vag?
Pay attention to detail
"Managers have so much going on that it's an assistant's duty to ensure things don't fall through the cracks."
JOSHUADAVIDFINE!: So I don't mean to disturb you
RHYMES WITH STORY: Then don't.
JOSHUADAVIDFINE!: but that Dining section post has been sitting there for three days.
RHYMES WITH STORY: FUCK FUCK FUCK. WHY DIDN'T YOU REMIND ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH?
JOSHUADAVIDFINE!: I've mentioned it three times each day, and twice via e-mail.
RHYMES WITH STORY: Shut the fuck up, Stein.
JOSHUADAVIDFINE!: I also phoned you.
JOSHUADAVIDFINE!: Yes sir. Sorry sir.
Experiment with new ideas
"Your assistant is probably far more tech-savvy than you. You may be adept with your BlackBerry, but your assistant is likely to know the latest innovations and updates in all aspects of technology. Let her clue you in."
RHYMES WITH STORY: Lock wants some ideas tomorrow for how we're going to shake up the site.
RHYMES WITH STORY: So cancel whatever plans you have and think some up for me, 'kay?
RHYMES WITH CHOIRE: I have that operation scheduled, remember?
RHYMES WITH STORY: Whatever, reschedule it. What's one more week to a tumor?
RHYMES WITH CHOIRE: Sigh.
RHYMES WITH STORY: WHAT?
RHYMES WITH CHOIRE: I mean, yes sir.
Keep up with pop culture trends
"Not every manager is a dinosaur, and not every assistant is a super-connected trend junkie. That said, you never know when your assistant will point you toward a great new Web site or suggest the perfect celebrity spokesperson for your company."
RHYMES WITH STORY: Do you have the new Modest Mouse record the kids are talking about?
BALK BTW: Yes, it's great. It really sounds like
RHYMES WITH STORY: Shut up. Bring it up here.
Remember there's always someone in your corner
"Be loyal to your assistant and your assistant will be loyal to you."
RHYMES WITH STORY: I'm worried that Lock isn't happy with my numbers.
MEMILY: No, really, he's just awful to work with, and he pays no attention to what we're doing.
MEMILY: Oh, shit, this is the wrong window.
MEMILY: Anyway, you want me to feel out Lock?
MEMILY: I'm on IM with him right now.
RHYMES WITH STORY: Uh oh.
Regain perspective
"Now that you're in a position of authority and reaping the benefits of your hard work, it's easy to forget what it was like at early in your career. Your assistant can remind you of the good and bad things you did early on, and help you keep your current role in perspective."
BALK BTW: Hey, remember when you used to be funny?
RHYMES WITH STORY: Shut up. Bring me up one of those banana donuts from Balthazar.
BALK BTW: Yes sir.
[Ed Note: Oh, har har. That's so comedic. Whatever. Since Balk's gone for the day, I thought I'd put in the real IMs from today so you can decide for yourself without all this supposed "satire." Balk is the one without the adorable little photo icon, naturally. Who's the asshole now, eh?]
