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[UPDATE: It seems that no one has the exclusive on the video. More on this confusing nonsense here.] A frenzied series of press releases arriving in our inbox this morning have alerted us to Extra's latest "get," a "cry for help" video in which "a shirtless and extremely intoxicated" David Hasselhoff "sits on the floor of a Las Vegas hotel room so out of it that he is unable to feed himself a hamburger," footage reportedly commissioned by Hasselhoff so that he could see what he looks like when he's too drunk to enjoy a room service snack, a rock-bottom moment in any celebrity addict's life.

How Extra obtained the video isn't mentioned, but one imagines that Hasselhoff decided that his self-flagellating approach to recovery couldn't truly be complete until he's suffered the public humiliation of having his alcohol-soaked nadir reduced to a slickly produced entertainment newsmagazine segment, then forcing himself to listen as Mark McGrath barely contains his disappointment in how far his Baywatch idol has fallen as he solemnly sets up the disturbing clip.