There are a few long-running weekly features lingering about here. As we bring on new ones, we are forced to wonder: Are we sick of the old ones? Are we not? It's hard to know! Sort of they're like that roommate that you've had for years that never takes out the trash (annoying!) but also always adds illuminating commentary during "Charm School" (adorable!). So, since it's Thursday and I'm bored and feel like destroying something besides Emily's dignity, it's time for a poll! Should we get rid of one of our oldest and dearest friends?

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Disclaimers: I totally may but also may not obey the command of the voting public. Also Balk (not so much a "feature" as a "human being simulacra" is totally rooting for his own disappearance, but he also might take the rest of us with him. (And I did intend that to signify "by means of a gun.") Also: Do stay within the vaguest, at least very slightly chafing boundariess of human conduct in the comments on this post or you'll be one of the things I destroy today. Love to love ya! Also—emails are welcome (choire@gawker.com) with private ideas, proposals, scornings, expressions of loathing, secret pleasures, naked pictures and the like.