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It's hard to believe, but an entire year has passed since Angelina Jolie, swollen with her first biological offspring at the finest resort in Namibia, rang the delicate bell that summoned down from Heaven the host of seraphim midwives who would gently escort through her blessed birth canal the Chosen infant widely expected to usher in an era of worldwide peace and prosperity. Since those earliest, auspicious moments, however, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt's messianic career has to be seen as a resounding disappointment, with not a single miracle credited to the tyke over the last twelve months, a letdown that quickly drove mother Angelina to the orphanages of Vietnam to snatch up the first adorable urchin to tug at the hem of her khakis.

The new issue of Us Weekly reports from Shiloh's first birthday party in the Czech Republic, where busy working mom Jolie is filming a movie; even though she couldn't be at the party until after that day's shooting was complete, the actress made sure her instructions for the celebration were carried out by partner Brad Pitt, according to Us: "'One time, when the kids were bored, [Pitt] had them all throwing empty pizza boxes as Frisbees,' says a source. 'Obviously, Shiloh was too young to join in, but you could hear her laughing.'" While the informant correctly noted the baby was too to join in on the fun, it was clear to all in attendance that the overprivileged blob understood the lesson that her mother was trying to impart with such a no-frills event: that most of the world's children don't even have empty pizza boxes to play with on their birthdays.