Demonstrating the same admirable commitment to bravely seeking out publicity in the face of unspeakable personal tragedy she exhibited in choosing to spend her final night of freedom with 4,000 of her best friends at the MTV Movie Awards, a newly re-jailed Paris Hilton yesterday expended one of her precious phone calls to reach out to the only person she felt she could trust to deliver a message of hope to her millions of fans: Barbara Walters. In a brief conversation with The View's den mother, Hilton reveals that her brief stay in prison has caused the Swarovski crystal-encrusted scales to fall from her eyes: she's now found God, is ready to drop the dumb girl "act," and wants to build a giant dollhouse in which sick children can simulate her own charmed, carefree upbringing. Truly, the L.A. County justice system's short-sighted desire to topple an icon of privilege has backfired, as Hilton will soon emerge from her incarceration as the Celebutard Nelson Mandela.

A clip from Walters' heart-to-heart with the heiress is above. You will be moved.