"Whoaa. The Manny Was About To Kiss Me!"
As discussed, billionaire heiress and banker bride Holly Peterson got a million dollar 2-book deal to send up her upper class-mates in The Manny. The book's terrible "viral" marketing scheme was chronicled by the Times on Sunday. And today, we bring you an excerpt. This is the kind of thing that already-rich people get $500,000 to write. Think on that. Anyway, in this scene our heroine is getting close to her kid's manny. Perhaps too close.
Peter seemed completely relaxed, but at this point, my heart was pounding so hard, I actually peered inside my coat to see if it was visible through my sweater.
"Dylan and I come here all the time."
"You do?"
"Sure. The poor kid didn't even know a Baltimore oriole was a bird. You see them all the time in the trees around the pond. You can rent binoculars down there."
"Is this what you guys always do in the park?"
"No, we usually go up the Harlem Meer and fish."
"You fish? In New York City? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"Because the kid needs to do things without his mommy knowing everything. We don't tell you on purpose. But this is his real favorite spot in the whole park. The weather in Central Park that you hear announced on the radio is measured from inside the castle tower next to us. We took a ladder up there with this nice ranger guy once. Dylan thought that was cool. He likes hearing about all the animals in the park too, so we always bring binoculars."
"You're telling me my nine year old son is into birdwatching?"
Peter laughed. "Not really. We check out people too. But mostly we just sit for a while. We talk. Do you think we could try that?"
"Okay. I'm calm. I promise. I took a deep breath for courage. Then I turned to him. "But I do need to know why you brought me here."
And then he stared straight in my eyes. For a moment, I actually thought he might kiss me. "Jamie."
Omigod. He called me by my first name. He'd never done that. He's going to kiss me. What the hell am I going to do then? Whoaa.
The manny was about to kiss me!