"The beach" is Glamour tardblogger Alyssa Shelasky's excuse for this outfit, which she describes as "a Southern runaway, like, Juliette Lewis/Natural Born Killers. Fine, my costume made no sense. Just wanted an excuse to wear fake eyelashes, Jessica Simpson extensions (my hair is shoulder length again), and a skanky black bra." The second extreme thing Alyssa is doing is a mistake we have made before: having one's photo taken alongside Julia Allison, whose skin is coated with a special compound that makes every photograph of her look like it came from Us Weekly and which makes anyone standing near her look like a smeary-eyelinered troll. Oh, and here's something else extreme: "My sister is almost done with her teaching year, so she'll be here causing trouble with me soon. I've actually met some guys who would be better for her than me. I've even semi-dated one or two! Have you and your sibs ever exchanged guys/girls? Would that freak a guy out? Actually, it would probably turn them on. Men!" JESUS CHRIST, ALYSSA.

Good To Be Bad [Alyssa]