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According to an item in today's Page Six, there is at least one place in town where celebrities and industry power players can enjoy a refreshing cocktail without being surveilled by media spies, an old-school establishment that deals harshly with the interlopers who might text news of their whereabouts directly into the evil mainframes of the Tabloid-Industrial Complex. This is a tale of Aniston, protected:

CELEBS can expect privacy at the Tower Bar at the Sunset Tower Hotel in L.A. Last week, an entertainment freelance reporter for one of the weeklies was unceremoniously booted after she was caught texting people that Jennifer Aniston was there with her new beau, Paul Colford. "

Security was called and she was told to never come back," our insider said. But the journo didn't go quietly - "She made a huge stink and started screaming." As she was being tossed, "The entire bar - including [Aniston], Bernie Brillstein, Kate Hudson and [former Paramount head] Donald Deline - started applauding, and some people even stood up."

The high-powered crowd's spontaneous expression of gratitude over the Sunset Tower's commitment to their privacy quickly became one of gape-mouthed horror as the unwelcome freelancer was escorted to the hotel's roof, where she was briefly dangled by the ankle before being dropped into the pool several stories below. But as her broken body was being fished from the perfectly chlorinated waters, the applause gradually resumed as patrons realized that such drastic measures are necessary to ensure that the controversial drink orders of marginal movie stars, retired managers, and ousted studio executives alike remain a fiercely protected secret.