Software mogul Larry Ellison—the man who got $1.8 million from Oracle for personal security, the guy who has a funicular going up the hill to his Malibu house, the fickle schmuck who's still somehow on only his fourth wife—is finally ready for a new boat, one not quite as big as his, now that he's sold a share in the world's second-largest yacht to David Geffen. Look. We're really into rich people things. Rich people make this city run. Yay richies! Like, yay yachts. But this guy is a total steaming mushroom-eared cretin who doesn't even know how to waste money properly.

Ellison's New Yacht [WSJ]