This morning, Nicole Richie turned up on Good Morning America to chat with celebrity confessor Diane Sawyer about the new life growing in her womb and the old chemicals circulating in her bloodstream on the night of her DUI arrest, an obvious attempt to salvage her chances at landing future sidekick gigs alongside recently reformed, God-fearing pal Paris Hilton.

Richie blames her unfamiliarity with Glendale for her pot-and-Vicodin-assisted trip on the 134, an excuse that sounds reasonable enough to us: the city has remained largely free of the celebrity menace through its ingenious use of deliberately confusing freeway signage, painting their DO NOT ENTER and WRONG WAY warnings in a special hue invisible to the famous, a system that lures undesirable interlopers into police ambushes meant to deter future visits.