So Laura Albert, who spent years pretending that her books were written by an abused AIDsy teen, feels that it is unfair that she's been successfully sued for fraud. Today, she tells Cindy Adams that her life, while perhaps not as difficult as the life of the truck-stop hooker child she invented, is still pretty rough. "My mother's just out of ICU. She can't bring even a cup of water to her mouth. My mom taught English in a New York City school. My assistant principal in Bushwick father and mother aren't together. Remarried, he lives in Stuyvesant Town. My sister's a speech pathologist. It's not a family with money. My ex is my son Trevor's father so I'll say nothing bad about him. He's a musician. He's 40. He wanted to be a rock star. And he wiped me out. From the stress my functioning has become limited. I'm under heavy medication with hypertension, diarrhea and bone infection." Jeez, did this lady never hear this in a creative writing class: "Never explain, never complain?" Apparently not, because boy does she go on.

I live in a flat contaminated with lead paint that was a squatter's place. Friends buy me food. I handwrite because for years I hadn't access to a computer. I couldn't afford to be in New York for depositions so David Milch, who produced 'Deadwood,' and his wife, Rita, bought a plane ticket and let me stay in their house. New York has ghosts for me, so I live in California. David said, 'Try to ride this out. You can't stand up in a tsunami,' and I'm attempting to do that. God has sent angels to help me through. He and Billy Corgan, lead singer of the [Smashing] Pumpkins, are my blessed angels.

Um, "aww" ? But anyway, fans, never fear: no matter how bad things get for Laura, she swears she "won't take the path of Sylvia Plath."

Oh honey. You sure didn't.

Author Deals With Dire Straits [Cindy Adams]