Sad news for those among you hoping for the gritty details and hot lesbian sex from Paris Hilton's prison diary: Her literary agent says her next project won't be about her stint in the slammer. "It's actually a strongly-argued polemic that defends cultural relativism against the anti-egalitarian attacks of conservative critics such as the late Allan Bloom." Nah, we're just kidding. They won't have any idea what the book's going to be about until they hire a guy to write it. [24sizzler]