Reasons Jessica Alba Might Not Have Many Female Friends
Asked by People for the secret to her much coveted physique, Good Luck Chuck star Jessica Alba admitted her busy schedule has prevented her from doing any actual exercise for months. Instead, the Teen Choice Awards "favorite female hottie" winner attributes her figure to yoga, and "drinking a lot of water." Pear-shapped and muffin-topped women everywhere reacted to the news in one of two ways: Either by sending telepathic fat-waves towards the hateful Alba, or by taking her advice to heart, and diving into a clumsy approximation of a "downward dog" they once saw Julia Roberts demonstrate on Oprah, before toasting their new bodies with a refreshing bottle of high fructose corn syrup fortified Pepsi WaterMax.