"Our shit still stinks, but you can't smell it because the bathroom is sprayed hourly by the maid with a refreshing scent made exclusively for us by French perfumers," wrote Cecily von Ziesgar in the first volume of the Gossip Girl series. Hewitt School student council president Kari Brandt, writing to the New York Times to protest what she felt was an unfair characterization of her class (heh) in Ruth La Ferla's article about the TV series based on those novels, would beg to differ. Hewitt girls' shit does not stink—although we've heard that anyone who says it does will be drummed right out of the cool girls' club.

As student council president at the Hewitt School, I was very distressed to read the portrayal of my school by two former students.

The characterization that they made about the social hierarchy acting in tandem with sexual experience is completely fallacious and insulting to our community. Hewitt students do not characterize popularity by looks, money or experience.

What characterizes a Hewitt student is her ability to be an articulate woman who focuses her time equally among academics, community service and social life.

Oh, okay, Kari! Thanks for clearing that up. We're sure that former Hewitt girl Desirée Kennedy-Mitton, 16, was way off-base when she told Ruth La Ferla that the catty antics, drinking, and sexing depicted on the show are "not just a fantasy" and that "when you are in that life, it seems so crazy to you that you sometimes tell yourself, 'This can't be real.'"

Yes. She must have been suffering some CW-provoked delusion! And we're sure her sister was equally delusional when she told of a friend at Hewitt who "felt disincluded" because she lived on the Upper West Side and "else was on the Upper East Side and really, really rich."

Speaking of feeling disincluded, though! We hear that some of the girls quoted in that article "are being hated on by everyone from their classmates to the upperclassmen they talked about to the parents." A tipster tells us that "[Brooke] Yalof and the rest are now the subject of ire from the other kids—they used to be some of the popular clique in their grade. In short, they've committed some spectacular social suicide—which you could kind of see happening right there in the article—and their parents let/aided them, by letting the Times in."

Will Brooke be able to bounce back from a line like "That [sex at a party] would never happen in our grade, but if you were a senior, it might"? Will her classmate Simone Rivera live down her follow-up comment about how at least she'd lock the door? We'll keep you posted.

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