In another highly-necessary shopping piece in the Times Styles section (a piece that we could not face until now), the body modification expert Alex Kuczynski discusses shredders. The office kind, not the Van Halen kind. True to form, she used shredders as a lens to teach us about Alex Kuczynski.

Following her patented formula, in the first two paragraphs we learn more about her than her subject matter. Here are things we learn about Alex Kuczynski in the first 430 words, followed by the what we learn about shredding machines.

  • Alex Kuczynski has been an American Express cardholder for at least a few years.
  • She once dated a man who sent her billets-doux.
  • She and said boyfriend went fishing in Nantucket.
  • She's a Taoist!
  • She's afraid of being audited.
  • She owned, up until recently, more than a dozen tennis rackets.
  • She donated more than 200 books to the homeless.
  • What the homeless are going to do with 200 copies of her book Beauty Junkies is anyone's guess. We suggest a bonfire! But the article wasn't all Alex all the time. We also learned this about shredders.
  • An Identity Guard 24-sheet strip-cut shredder goes for about $100.
  • Well, a 7:1 ratio isn't too bad for the Kucz! Maybe next week we can glean a couple more Alex Kuczynski factoids as seen through the lens of buying a Le Creuset casserole dish.