Says our on-the-ground Oberlin College correspondent: "Here's an announcement... you poop in the Environmental Studies building toilet and get a quarter." Oh God. It's true.

Low on Cash, High in Fiber Bash:

Poop in the Adam Joseph Lewis Center toilets anytime between Saturday, November 10th and Friday, November 16th and sign up to receive a quarter per poop. Claim your quarters at the bash! H'orderves [sic[ and drinks provided.

This probably has something to do with sustainability or whatever, but what more is there to say? Nothing more, really.