On Thanksgiving, Remember All The Celebrities Suffering In Missouri
As you pour yourself the first of the countless glasses of whiskey that will allow you to survive yet another Thanksgiving feast with the dysfunctional clan whose lack of support and grudgingly given affection drove you to seek out a life in Hollywood, Star editor Bonnie Fuller asks that you consider the even more distressing plight of your celebrity betters. If you can't even endure a meal with your relatives without an emotion-blunting buzz on, how can you expect Angelina Jolie, whose family dynamics are undoubtedly far more turbulent than your own, to weather a sure-to-be-tense Turkey Day at Brad Pitt's parent's house without suffering a nervous breakdown? Blogs Fuller:
Imagine how she feels. Jane Pitt has been publicly spotted several times dining, hugging, and even visiting her former daughter-in-law Jennifer Aniston at home, since the exes became exes. That in itself would qualify as monster-in-law material for lesser women.
Then I'm sure Angelina got quite the earful from Brad's mom after she confessed to British Cosmopolitan that she took a wild trip to Disneyland while high on LSD. "I've done just about every drug possible. Coke, heroin, ecstasy, everything," Angelina admitted to the mag. Clearly, she wasn't thinking about how her words were going to play back in Missouri when she gave the interview.
Then again, think of it from Jane Pitt's perspective. How do she and her husband Bill, perfectly normal non-Hollywood people, explain that kind of confession to their hometown friends? How do they deal with a "daughter-in-law" who's also admitted that she used to like to cut herself, wear the blood of her last husband around her neck and boasted publicly about the unbelievable sex life she had with that last husband? It would be a wonder if Jane didn't have agita.
I think we can all wish Brad good luck coping with the conversation around that dinner table.
Indeed, in the spirit of charity that pervades this Thanksgiving holiday, we'll happily take the concerned Fuller's advice and offer our prayers that Brad can get through his entire meal without having the mother to his multicultural brood clash with his family over helpings of turkey, laughing off feud-provoking comments like, "Those little orphans—where did you buy them again? Nigeria and Chinatown?—are going to eat us out of house and home. Tell the one with the mohawk that he has another meal coming tomorrow, so there's no reason to finish that whole tray of yams by himself. Really, my dear Jennifer never would've raised children with such bad manners," a magnanimity that will prevent the meal from ending with the angry slamming of guest-bedroom doors.
