Disney's 'Enchanted' Gives Weary Parents Two Hours Of Thanksgiving Weekend Relief
As you slowly awaken from your tryptophan-induced comas, only vaguely remembering the pounds of turkey and glasses of scotch consumed over the previous four days, stare bleary-eyed at the weekend box office numbers:
1. Enchanted - $35.322 million ($50.048 million—5-day weekend)
Enchanted's success was inevitable: families trapped at home for the Thanksgiving holiday with kids who were discovering that their newly purchased Shrek the Third DVDs, once drained of entertainment value by nine or ten viewings, make excellent projectiles, know that a trip to the multiplex is a sanity-saver—even if the cinemas were filled with other harried parents desperately hoping that the combination of a dark theater and some child-sedating musical numbers might temporarily calm their little brood of monsters.
2. This Christmas - $18.6 million ($27.1 million—5-day weekend)
No holiday moviegoing season would be complete without Hollywood reminding us that even though our families are crazy and dysfunctional—and they are, aren't they?—in the end, they're all we have™ and we love each other™. Especially if Delroy Lindo is around to help us keep our shit together.
3. Beowulf - $16.240 million ($23.15 million—5-day weekend)
We briefly considered a trip to Beowulf to ogle Angelina Jolie's computer-enhanced form, but then we realized that we could simultaneously save some money and get our jollies by flipping through our cable movie channels, knowing that at least one example of the actress's many fine, digitally unassisted nude scenes would likely turn up after no more than 20 minutes of surfing.
4. Hitman - $13.035 million ($21 million—5-day weekend)
We suppose we'll never know how many opening weekend millions were sacrificed when Fox, having lost the services marble-headed, monosyllabic action star Vin Diesel, had to settle for shaving Timothy Olyphant's head and praying for the best.
5. Bee Movie - $10.025 million ($15.988 million—5-day weekend)