For the bargain basement price of $275, the New Museum will provide you with the perfect accessory for your delusions of grandeur and persistent copraphobia: Gilded poo! The Museum actually sells capsules stuffed with gold leaf, "each approximately 1 inch long," in "sets of three," which they suggest that you swallow upon purchase. "Pure gold passes straight through the body and ends up in your stool resulting in sparkly shit!" according to their website. (The gold pills are made by long-ago Gawker fave Just Another Rich Kid.) If you're an actual museum member, they'll knock the price down to $247.50. Does that include a museum staff member willing to bear witness to the these Turds of Treasure when they materialize? [New Museum]