This image was lost some time after publication.

Yes, Facebook, I am getting married. I presume you know this because my fiancée and I are listed as engaged to each other in our profiles. It's even possible you know the wedding is soon because she registered us on TheKnot.com, a Beacon partner. And even though she opted not to have you spam our friends about it, it's conceivable that you're still keeping track of her activity on the site, despite promising to discard the data. That's fine. Eventually we were going to tell you about the wedding anyway. But, Facebook, you might want to know: I'm not an American Express cardholder. And also: I'm not going to buy that dress. Oh, and one more thing?

How hard could it have been for American Express, your partner in advertising bliss, to check off "female" on this order form? Answer: Not very. Next time, try a coupon for discount tux rentals at Men's Wearhouse.

This image was lost some time after publication.