The Stars and Stripes, also known in the Army as the "Stars and Lies," is in a losing fight for their credibility with their owners, the Department of Defense. Man, every newspaper complains about their owner—but at least yours probably doesn't have the title "deputy assistant secretary of defense" on her door. That's gotta be a treat. The paper's beef is that money from the government's ham-handed "America Supports You" propaganda campaign has been administered by the paper's business department. The result? "Kuwait Gets Blizzard of Holiday Cheer"! "Vet Receives Hero's Welcome, New Home"! The "America Supports You" website is like a real-world "The Onion" but with actual agony. What the Department of Defense refuses to understand is that the paper is already distrusted—solely because of its government ownership. Having it mixed up with programs like "Operation Straight Up," the Stephen Baldwin-starring Christian crusade that distributed to soldiers videogames about killing U.N. troops in a post-Rapture New York City? Not helping!