Lindsay Lohan Rings In 2008 By Tumbling Off The Champagne Abstention Wagon
In a shocking snippet of video evidence that literally knocked the wind right out of us, TMZ's worldwide sober-starlet-trailing operation (we imagine it like something out of Bourne Ultimatum, with Harvey Levin in a Joan Allen wig barking orders at a tightly wound team parked at hi-tech monitoring terminals) has captured a stunning New Year's Eve relapse that could have direct implications on your children's safety:
That's right, Robertson Blvd. panhandler Lindsay Lohan was captured swigging from a bottle of champagne as Italian revelers frolicked around her, clearly oblivious to the Jekyll and Hyde V.I.P. transformation that even a single drop of the sugary libation would cause upon touching her lips, sending the reinvigorated party monster into the streets for a Fiat to hijack in a desperate search for a pair of coke-laden capris.