Iowa has never been this crowded, ever. The influx of political reporters, presidential supporters and caucus courters has created a scrum of smelly hacks, sweaty backs and winning blacks. New York magazine was so deep in that scrum, they couldn't see very well and wrote a bunch of highly-entertaining profoundly blind items. The only thing unequivocal sentence came from an anonymous reporter: "Everybody is just losing their shit." As Tolstoy says, every insane loses their shit in their own way. Who for instance, is the "major photographer [who] had a public meltdown in front of dozens of other reporters in a hotel lobby? The snapper berated a bellboy so aggressively that fellow media members fled the scene." More blind items after the jump. Send correct answers to tips@gawker.com and be rewarded with nothing!

Which single television producer and which single high-profile print reporter have an ongoing campaign romp? Turns out they have a lot of the same interests! • Which gay reporters like to pick up locals at the gay bar the Blazing Saddle? And why the hell isn't there a gay bar in New York with that name?? • Which Nation reporter liked to give fist bumps to people after they emerged from the smelly bathroom on the Edwards bus? We bet we'd be friends with him. • Which reporter from a top-ten paper is publicly lamenting that she's the only one on the ground without an expense report? Her pals are so mad on her behalf they're rumbling about a boycott of the tabloid.