Those of us who haven't already learned how to mind-meld have given up on Facebook (founded by Harvard dropout Mark Zuckerberg, seen here grinning at a pile of money) for the same reason we left MySpace: It's all just ads, friend requests from people we don't know (and people we kind of know but wanted to continue not acknowledging at parties), and something about zombies. Even the logorrheic Twitter users who text minutiae to all their friends are now tuning out, and no one wants to go back to blogging (except using the newish Tumblr platform, which they'll tire of this summer). There are only three options left for dealing with social networks.

1. Leave.
2. Stay, only to complain about how awful it is to use the site.
3. Stay, and continue making it awful for others to use the site by inviting them to become vampire snowman zombies or superpoke your Facebook Tamagotchi, because you are in college majoring in philosophy.

As for what this will do to Facebook, the problem has been summed up by the web comic Wondermark:

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[Photo of Zuckerberg by AP]