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Celebrity wife-killer O.J. Simpson spent the last five days in jail, the result of having left threatening, profanity-laced messages for the co-defendants in his Vegas hotel room armed shit-reclamation case. Clark County Judge Jackie Glass was not amused:

"I don't know, Mr Simpson, what the heck you were thinking," Glass told him. "I don't know if it's just arrogance or ignorance .... or both."

Prosecutors asked for Simpson to be held behind bars until his trial or for new bail of at least $1 million.

But Simpson's lawyer, Yale Galanter, said Simpson was neither a danger to the community nor a flight risk, noting that he "cannot even walk out of his front door without TV cameras following him."

"Mr. Simpson is truly contrite about what has occurred," Galanter told the judge.

Simpson's bail was doubled to $250,000, a sum he could manage to quickly recover by auctioning off a series of personal, in-home readings of best-selling confessional If I Did It on eBay. He was then whisked away in a white Mercedes, free to work on his golf game or chat up strangers on airplanes, until April, when he faces the real music: 12 charges, including kidnapping and armed robbery, that could put him away for the rest of his life.

[Photo: The Insider]