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Because no one is really going to be happy until the newly rehabbed, destined for morgue gore-mopping Lindsay Lohan falls off the wagon in a Jeff Conaway-style drooling-screaming fit, The Razzies have taken it on themselves to give her a good, hard shove. I Know Who Killed Me was "recognized" with a whopping nine nominations, including worst picture and worst actress. Razzie founder and starlet-kicker John Wilson gushed about the sheer awfulness of the film to the Associated Press, eager to explain how it managed to rise above (below?) in a field crowded with bottom-dwelling crap like The Number 23 and Daddy Day Camp.

"`I Know Who Killed Me' is the most fabulously brainless movie since `Showgirls,'" which Razzie voters picked as the worst movie of the 1990s, [Razzie founder John]Wilson told the Associated Press. "By the end of it, you still don't know what happened. Are they twins or aren't they? Did she imagine it? Can I please have my hour and 50 minutes back?"

Lilo can sob on the shoulder of newly sorta-single Eddie Murphy, who received a record-breaking five nominations for his multiple roles in the abortion Norbit. Other movies you probably didn't see in the running for Razzies include Bratz, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry and... oh fuck it, it's not like anyone's going to care unless Lilo pulls a Halle Berry and accepts her award, though our preference would be for her to do it half in the bag and screaming the "I coulda been a contendah" speach from On the Waterfront. Hey, it's been a sad awards season, we'll take just about anything we can get.