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As you and your loved one attempt to pry off the beer helmet that became glued to your head by a combination of sweat and Coors Light runoff, enjoy the weekend box office numbers:

1. Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour - $29 million
Not even Super Bowl weekend, normally a box office wasteland where studios dump product they hope will attract female moviegoers seeking refuge from the booze-lubricated football orgies taking place in their living rooms, was a match for the combination of Miley Cyrus and alter ego Hannah Montana, who, unsurprisingly, shattered™ the record for this frame with their 3-D enhanced, musical 'tween-bait.

The 683 theaters showing Hannah racked up a staggering $42,459 per-screen average, a mad rush to precious few screenings fueled by parents trying to atone for their refusal to be extorted by opportunistic brokers who recently held Cyrus's live concert tour hostage; for a mere $10-$15, they were finally able to silence the cries of "I hate you! Why are you soooo cheap?" of 12-year-olds who refused to understand why their moms and dads wouldn't cough up the $350 to $2000 advance in their allowances it would take to see their hero lip-sync her way through their favorite songs.

2. The Eye - $13 million
Overcoming the handicap of that 22% Tomatometer rating, Jessica Alba has proven that she's the go-to actress for when a studio absolutely, positively needs to open a horror remake during a traditionally slow weekend slightly above the crucial, $10 million "now we feel a little better about not releasing it direct to video" threshold.

3. 27 Dresses - $8.4 million
4. Juno - $7.450 million
In lieu of offering another tired burger phone joke or trying to unravel the mystery of Katherine Heigl's box office appeal, we instead note with sadness that our beloved Rambo fell off 60% to a $7 million, sixth-place finish in its second weekend. America seems to be missing out on its chance to see perhaps the most violent movie of all time on the big-screen, where each bowling-ball-sized gunshot wound and exploding head can be enjoyed in its full, stomach-churning glory.

11. Over Her Dead Body- $4.6 million
Once Gold Circle made the fateful choice to abandon the movie's original, far-catchier title, Phantom Cockblocker, in favor of something blander, Eva Longoria's fledgling film career was doomed to a speedy demise.