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As if it's not enough for Nicolas Cage to have to deal with Kathleen Turner's chihuahua-napping accusations, now the actor is embroiled in a scandal with the Internal Revenue Service. Forbes.com is reporting that the Chiclet-toothed thespian used his production company to illegally write off $3.3 million in personal expenses, including "limos, meals, gifts, travel, and his Gulfstream 1159A turbojet." Sounds to us like someone had their taxes done by the shady accounting firm of Jackson, Hewitt & Snipes.

Cage's business manager contends that such expenses are "customary in the entertainment industry," to which Hollywood has responded with a resounding "Fuckin' A!" When it's all said and done, the IRS wants Cage to pay back a total of $1,802,000. Assuming he doesn't have that kind of coin stuck between his couch cushions, we fully expect to see Cage sign on for a new installment of National Treasure, one in which he risks life and limb to recover falsified 1040 forms from the secret IRS vaults that prove once and for all that Herbert Hoover cheated on his taxes.