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A reporter at the Beatrice Inn was asking random people whether they had any drugs last night. That isn't all that surprising: he was a reporter, after all; and Beatrice Inn is a (classy) coke den. But my editor was shocked. "On a Sunday?" he asked. This, apparently, is the functioning professional's coke-taking code: a bump or two is socially acceptable, so long as it doesn't interfere with productivity. My unthinking response: "Hey, it was Oscars night." So many exceptions! So let's propose some common standard: coke is acceptable only on Friday and Saturday nights, and at the Beatrice Inn on cultural holidays. And, S, don't ask a gossip columnist you hardly know whether they're holding.