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After shelling out a reported $1MM to Nicole Richie and That Guy From Good Charlotte, People unveiled their Super! Exclusive! Must! Credit! People! baby photos of Harlow Winter Kate Madden today. And something about those droopy eyes and vacant glare do suggest that Joel Madden is indeed the father. Although we don't yet see any resemblance to Mama Nicole, Harlow is definitely packing junk in the...cheeks. But that's a good thing! For a close-up of the just-under-two-month-old sporting the grim expression of someone who knows that their life is going to turn into a True Hollywood Story, click through.

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While the issue isn't on stands til tomorrow, People has left us with this truly remarkable quote that's quite literally keeping us on the edge of our seats: "She gives life a whole new meaning and a whole new purpose." As staid, lifeless and unoriginal as that quote is, we still are going to bestow props to Nicole for altering her "life purpose" from seeing how far her skin could stretch across her hipbones to settling down with her smushy-faced rocker baby. We like Nicole 2.0.