The Moonlite BunnyRanch, a legal brothel outside of Carson City, Nevada, scored a PR hit this past week by making a high-stakes job offer to Governor Spitzer's alleged girlfriend for hire, Ashley Alexandra Dupré. But if you hit the BunnyRanch's website, you were probably as stumped as me by the menu of services — what's a "Pamper Party"? I dialed the Ranch and chatted with a few of the ladies there to decode the entire list. If I need to tell you it's NSFW, don't bother booking.

  • Girlfriend Experience: We've covered that.
  • Massage (give or get): A sensual bodyrub, but for a happy ending you need to add on.
  • Hand Relief Party: A hand job.
  • Vibrator Show: Ask if you're also allowed to touch her as she gets off with toys.
  • Bachelor Parties: Bringing along guy friends doesn't mean you get to split the cost of one party. Of course it's extra.
  • Orgies: Lots of girls, and maybe lots of guys if you bring them.
  • Blow Job: Also known as a blowjob.
  • VIP Rooms: A more sociable setting, like a strip club, where you and your guests can be entertained...
  • Champagne Party: ... with champagne...
  • Pamper Party: ... and strawberries, chocolate, and multiple girls.
  • Love at the Y: Cunnilingus.
  • Half and Half: Half oral sex, half intercourse.
  • Bunny Style: Her choice.
  • Viagra party: BYOV.
  • 69 Party: Mutual oral sex.
  • Full French: Blow job party, with orgasm/ejaculation.
  • Around The World: Oral, intercourse, anal sex.
  • Tantric Sex: Massage, synchronized breathing, eye-gazing, sex.
  • Asian Wet Room: A theme room with waterfalls.
  • Swinger Parties: A couple's party where you bring your own partner and swap.
  • Sybian Experience: She demonstrates how she uses this high-powered saddle-mounted vibrator.
  • Dinner Dates: Going out (within the state of Nevada) for dinner.
  • Neopolitan: Four-way with a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
  • Whipped Cream Party: Playing with whipped cream on her and your body.
  • To Go Orders: Outcall dates to your hotel or elsewhere, in the state of Nevada.
  • Military Discount: Supporting our troops! Inquire ahead.
  • Two Girl Party: Threesome.
  • Overnight Stays: Most girls live in their rooms. A sleepover date!
  • Outdoor and Indoor Jacuzzi Fun: Sex in the water.
  • Fetish & Fantasy: Light spankings and bondage, whippings, or just her wearing fetish wear during sex — negotiate upon arrival.
  • Couples and Single Ladies: Yes, women are welcome as customers.
  • Three Girl Party: A foursome all about you!
  • Food, Fun (9 1/2 Weeks): Feeding each other and/or sensually playing with food during sex.
  • The Porn Star Experience: Lots of dirty talk, usually anal sex, messy blowjobs.