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With Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe working in the service of a screenplay by William Monahan (The Departed), the CIA-vs.-terrorist thriller Body of Lies is roughly what you get when Warner Bros. throws a platinum-plated kitchen sink at Ridley Scott's Oscar curse. Except rough is only the half of it, according to a script review published Monday:

If you saw the preview for The Insider, you pretty much know what most of Body of Lies will be like. It's men under intense pressure shouting at each other over cell phones, usually beginning their speeches with some variant on "Don't fuck with me!" Russell Crowe smugly lectures Leo for most of the movie in speeches like this: "This is the New Model Al Quaeda. [sic] These are the new evolved analog cockroaches. They got in place and waited. This is war. This is not Osama got Lucky on his flying fucking carpet."

The testoster-ensemble is mitigated by agent DiCaprio's naggingly "nymphomaniac" wife back in the States (played by Black Book siren Carice van Houten) and a mysterious "French aid worker" whose vagina apparently doubles as a launching pad for Leo's tender character arc. And while we've stood by Scott through even his most banal transgressions (this story kind of reminds us of Legend, in fact, but without the unicorn), we're a bit nervous about the 70-year-old's chances of finally breaking his awards-season drought with what amounts to a well-tailored Departed Redux. Worse yet, we expect most viewers would agree that the world needs another war-on-terror film like we need Dune re-made by Peter Berg. Wait, what's that? Oh, fuck.

[Photo Credit: Estrenoblog]