Lunch in the Empty Belly of Bear Stearns

1.50K

Sheila

03/21/08 03:52PM

Filed to: two dollar bill

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In which young literary man, Mergers and Acquisitions author, and former J.P. Morgan analyze-r Dana Vachon sneaks into the Bear Stearns cafeteria, where lunch costs more than a $2 share! Includes vaguely sexual details such as "'Abandon all hope, ye who lunch here!'...it's written on the face of everybody except the press woman from JPMorgan. She's tall and blond and beautiful and wearing a white suit, as if to send a message. And she's moving through this lobby as if it is the land of opportunity, and for her, it is." With dignity lost, all that's left is some Mies Van der Rohe chairs. Life coaches are standing by. [Slate]

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

raincoaster Sheila 03/22/08 02:28AM

@Ha Ha Sound: What's the past tense of Investment Banker? "Barista."

SarahHeartburn Sheila 03/21/08 04:10PM

Great, kid. In the wake of of of the scariest financial crises in decades, you spit this up:

"I find myself wanting a Barcelona chair, too. I recall video footage I once saw of Bulgarian students looting the parliament building in Sofia during the fall of the Soviet Union, and figure that the urge to get away with stealing things during the crowded hours of crisis must be a very basic part of who we are. How else to explain the market's broad approval of JP Morgan's acquisition of Bear Stearns for $2 a share, hastily arranged over the weekend and almost fully guaranteed by the Federal Reserve?"

Brilliant and timely. May I say, in honor of the just passed St. Patrick's Day: Oh Dana boy, the paps, the paps are calling.

fiveinchtaint Sheila 03/21/08 04:08PM

@SoftBeadySuedeShoes: YES! Your comment wasn't here when I posted mine or I would have @'ed you, but right? Mies? I'm dying for the day when I can get the lounger. Black leather with walnut. I'm 100% not pretentious when it comes to material items, but holy shit I love his furniture.

famousauthor Sheila 03/21/08 06:09PM

@IndianSlipper: ...and Elvis' Graceland is one big cemetery. Except that he is not buried there. Because he lives! At least the supermarket tabloid says so.