This morning we have one of Ted Casablanca's long-ish items that we missed yesterday. It's about "Inpenna Never-Trated," one half of the "oh-so-famous young couple [that] parted ways not that long ago, he and she both of multi-talented varieties, over her fairly indiscreet dalliances." The lady is the tramp! The entire item, plus an awkward British "whisper," after the jump.

"Which oh-so-famous young couple parted ways not that long ago, he and she both of multitalented varieties, over her fairly indiscreet dalliances? Can you imagine, perhaps, who we are inferring? Sure ya can! Guess what? Just found out what caused that poor hon to be so naughty with other dudes while she was off filming on location. Turns out, while back at home in Hollywood, missy's hubby had a "light switch" for a penis (so reports a switch-witness). Hence, philandering wifey—we'll call her Inpenna Never-Trated—felt totally at a loss and doomed, sexually speaking, until she was woken up by costar X, soon to be followed by dude Z and the rest of the male alphabet. Girl was dee-lighted to discover what she'd been missing!"

[E!]

"Which skinny TV presenter isn't as wholesome as she likes to pretend? The weight-obsessed star can't keep food down and repels crew members with her binging." [Mirror]