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Semi-sane octogenarian gossip Liz Smith is really feeling her oat bran now that she's cranking out columns for the aged women's site WowOWow.com. In her latest effort, she tackles the issue of our time: the rumors of Nicole Kidman's breast augmentation. And she speaks without fear or favor:

Well, I do recall Nicole saying to me in the distant past that she always felt she wasn't well endowed and she wished she were. But seeing is believing, and here is a photograph taken back in 2006 where I seem about to lift and toss this beautiful star into the air. No, seriously, take a glance at it. Does this look like a girl who needed breast surgery? No, this is Nicole all natural as the good Lord made her at the Vanity Fair party Oscar night.

I admire a fine belle poitrine as much as anyone, but I can't stand these added-on half grapefruits that look as unnatural as can be. I have known Nicole for a long time now and her natural assets were quite good enough to start with.

She then goes on to congratulate her good friend Nicole on her charity work. Befriending old gossip columnists is hazardous for celebrities, obviously.

Added bonus: Liz Smith's description of Mediabistro:


My friend Dominick Dunne has given an interview to the website mediabistro.com which usually covers who's who and who's eating at the popular Manhattan restaurant, Michael's.

[pic via Liz Smith herself!]