It's official. Paris Hilton should be banned from dancing on stages, be they in Phoenix or Istanbul. At yesterday's Miss Turkey competition (yes, "Miss Turkey"), Paris was inexplicably asked to serve as a judge during the festivities. And in an equally inexplicably turn of events, one of the belly-dancing extras performing for the crowd grabbed Paris from her seat and dragged the initially demure heiress up on stage to shake her non-existent booty for the incredibly non-enthused crowd. Now, we're not in any position to pass judgment on Middle Eastern dancing moves, but we're still pretty sure that tossing your hair back and robotically shimmying your hips back and forth does not a belly dance make. Judge for yourselves after the jump.

To be fair, and to borrow her so-called trademark phrase, Paris does look "hot." The hair is flawless, the dress is impressive, and for a girl with no chest, even her clavicles look somewhat sexy. But despite her enthusiasm and willingness to go along with the charade, our heart does break a little once we hear the crickets in the audience post-shimmy. Not to mention the moment she turns to one of the orchestra members for some encouragement, only to receive a vague pointing gesture, signaling the fact that he'd really just prefer it if she shook her junk a few feet away.