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Note to all potential Paris Hilton BFFs: if you're planning on auditioning to become Paris' next new lapdog, don't even think about standing a chance if you're packing any junk in the trunk. Hilton recently made it clear that should a friend's rear prove aesthetically displeasing to the heiress, she will shun them from her sparkly circle. As she blabbed in a recent radio interview:

"I would not want [Kim's butt] — it's gross! ...It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag."

But considering the latest turn-out at a New York audition for her new show, Hilton may want to lower her standards a bit...

According to MSNBC.com, only 40 or 50 applicants showed up to an open call in New York recently, sending Paris into a whirlwind damage control mode. Apparently scared that word on the paltry showing would get out, she took to her trusty MySpace page to let everyone (ie: all two or three interested parties) know that all her castings are "exclusive events" in which the applicants are "hand-selected" by invitation-only. Putting aside the fact that this practice means Paris is presumably just picking out hot girls and cute boys at night to come and audition, how "real" can a reality show be if Paris is just casting the show herself? We suppose she just couldn't stand the idea of making chit chat with anyone whose rear end wasn't up to par.