Yesterday was gorgeous in New York. It was warm and sunny and trees were flowering. People strolled around, hand in hand. Moods seemed lifted. And today is supposed to be about the same! I feel so rejuvenated, like the world is a special place again. But... oh. Wait. Look. The same old grimy, desperate showbiz creatures are still doing their dance macabre. Just like they do every day. Maybe the world hasn't changed after all. Maybe it's just gotten a new coat of paint. Sigh. First up, from Gatecrasher: "Which actress on a canceled show was 'doing her body weight' in cocaine at a beachy magazine shoot over the weekend?" Blargh. Two more items after the jump, plus a snippet of Ted Casablanca's latest Dadaist celebrity tone poem.

  • "Which recently rehabbed rocker got clean through a week-long induced coma? He couldn't bear to sweat out the booze on his own." [Rush & Molloy]
  • "Which singer is intending to come out to his family this week? The handsome star apparently can't wait to take them to his favourite camp haunts every Saturday night." [Mirror]
  • "This is probably not the guy daddy wants her to bring home, so she didn't. The daughter of this fashion guru was spotted at an event getting hot and heavy with a B+ rap star. They had been doing the bathroom runs all night and spent lots of time groping and kissing, but decided not to use the bathroom for doing the dirty. Instead, they made their way outside, got into his limo for 20 minutes and then came back inside looking, well, like they had just spent 20 minutes in the back of a limo doing the nasty. Shortly thereafter, our rap star took his leave, and a different woman home with him." [Crazy Days and Nights]
  • "Dangling Wrangler's at it again. You know Dangle-babe: He's the base-boy the whole world seems to love no matter how many episodes he efs up, (via himself, the law or the ladies). Indeed, the Dangle dude's been in trouble myriad times with too many drugs, too many women who were married to other men or by just being a plain ol' mean, drunk bastard." [Awful Truth]