It would be nice to go on a trip somewhere. Especially on this gray, rainy Monday morning. Maybe London! Though, airline tickets are expensive, especially if you're a Hollywood type who's expected to fly first class. Lord help you if you're caught in business class, lest you be the object of ridicule for two illiterate, scabies-ridden alcoholics: "This B- film actress was on a flight with her girlfriend and hid her face under her blanket the entire flight. Why? She could only afford Business Class. Not too bad except when two people from The Real World were laughing at you from First Class." [Crazy Days and Nights] Three more items after the jump.

  • "Which methed-up TV personality tells British pals: 'I always know I'm home when I see the Albert Bridge [in London], because I'm just minutes from my drug dealer's place!'" [Gatecrasher}
  • "Which actress clings to her bloke's female mates because she's terrified one of them is trying to pull him? The girls tolerate her because she pays for their drugs..." [Mirror]
  • "This female film actress who is the offspring of an acting family is filming a movie right now. Seems as if the water was never the right temperature in her trailer. After complaining about 100 times, and always being told it was perfect, our actress decided to take matters into her own hands. Literally. She got a crow bar and smashed the entire trailer beginning with the bathroom. After holding up filming for about 45 minutes so she could finish beating the trailer into submission, she emerged from the trailer, and said, she thought she had finally fixed the problem. A new trailer was delivered that very day and the $50,000 for the trailer charged to the budget." [CDaN]